[ORIGINAL REPOST FROM: January 24, 2020 ]
[It's been brought to my attention that my content, everything I've ever put on instagram, I don't own.
If social media collapses, so does everything I've written about my work. I'll be going through my posts working to transfer my work, thoughtful captions, etc to my own blog, The Easel Weasel, link in bio!
This is a visual autopsy of sorts until we get caught up to present day! Some of these I will repost to the gram as I think it’s insane to look back on my journey these past 2 years.
“All I wanted was to live a life where I could be me, and be okay with that. I had no need for material possessions, money or even close friends with me on my journey. I never understood people very well anyway, and they never seemed to understand me very well either. All I wanted was my art and the chance to be the creator of my own world, my own reality.”🖤-C.E.
Hi, everyone in and around my world🐅 let’s catch up.
What a year this month has been. As some of you know, I don’t consider myself an “artist”, I never thought any of my work was worth showing, but I still did it. To be more exact, I don’t “do” art, I feel it. Talking about the hard feelings and showing them to everyone is probably the scariest thing I will do.
This week I started to challenge the fear of being seen. I launched this public Instagram account for my art. the responses from people I have never and likely will never meet is overwhelming.
As if that wasn’t enough, 4 days later I received an invitation from a talented local artist (who would later become the greatest mentor) to show my work with the Emerald City Artist Collective.
I’d be lying if I said this week [January 24, 2020] is going down as the most raw and vulnerable time of my life.
I’m not ashamed to say, I am just happy to be here.
This is me in my small world, with my big paintings (3ftx4ft)💫. PS: I’m so sorry if you thought this was going to be all octopus and elephant sketches. You don’t know this yet, but i like tigers.
I identify with tigers 🐯
I can’t wait to show them to you.
When you let people see you at your worst, you don’t have to wear the mask so much. Sad people often look exactly like happy people. The most exhausting activity is pretending to be what you know you aren’t.
We are so tangled up in a world of toxic positivity that I think many are ashamed to actually feel anything else.
I don’t know if I can count how many times
I was sad
But I told everyone
I was tired.
This collection of mask portraits is probably the most dangerous and revealing work I have done to date. It started with a portrait my sister had taken of herself. It was a mood, there was feeling but it was only telling half the story of this woman. There was something missing.
Every body has a little bit of goodness and a little bit of brokenness. Lightness and darkness. Ignorance and knowledge. Human and savage. Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde.
The dual nature of humanity is something that has been explored by mankind for thousands of years.
I am more wolf
and I am still learning how to stop apologizing
for my wild.” -N.Gill
There’s a Cherokee story where a grandfather teaches his grandson an important lesson:
“There is a battle going on inside all of us. It is a battle between two wolves that live inside us.
One is evil: anger, fear, envy, sorrow, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, ego
The other is good: joy, courage, peace, love, hope, stillness, compassion, love.
Which wolf wins?
...The one you feed."
Whatever wolf you choose there will always be someone to tell you that you are wrong. Fear and self doubt will eat you alive. Don’t give your power away. Stay aware of how you allow your thoughts to affect you. You always have a choice.
Feed the good wolf.
[January 19,2020 Original posting, sketches , mixed media ink/watercolor 2015-2020] It was this succession of posts that got me softly blocked by instagram as I guess I uploaded them too quickly in succession and the app thought I was a robot? Lesson learned. One post a day!
*It's been brought to my attention that my content, everything I've ever put on instagram, I don't own.
If social media collapses, so does everything I've written about my work.
So I'll be going through my posts and working to transfer my work, my thoughtful captions, etc to my own blog.
This is sort of a visual autopsy of sorts until we get caught up to present day!
“We all build internal sea walls to keep at bay the sadnesses of life. We build these walls stone by stone over a lifetime. One problem is to construct a barrier of such height that one has a harbor, a sanctuary away from pain, yet low enough and permeable enough to let in fresh seawater to fend off the inclination toward brackishness. “- Kay Jamison .
Here’s to being a brackish girl 🦑and being brave enough to show my monsters to the world, finally. Here I am summoning the courage to disappoint everyone in my life (re: art is not my day job!). . .
✍️🖤Ink, watercolor, pencil on paper .
👩🏻🎨So many works to continue sharing, I’m realizing even if I post 10 times a day (don’t do this, learned my lesson yesterday! Sorry Instagram!) it’s going to take months to catch this page up to my present artwork, which is quite overwhelming. But, This is the year I let it go. 2020, you’re radically challenging my self confidence and I’m totally here for it
Aliza and Her Monsters