Stop Apologizing For Your Wild

⚠️Quick study (re: dumpster fire mess) in progress⚠️

“Some days
I am more wolf
than woman
and I am still learning how to stop apologizing
for my wild.” -N.Gill

Oil and acrylic base layers on canvas 16x20”.

Most of my work starts out in this disturbing mess of blocked shapes and values and I’m fairly certain the proper term is this is the “underpainting.” The foundation.
.
Then, I get to trash it.
And I mean
Really just wreck the thing.
I start applying layer after layer to render the illusion of form. Often, I end up working at such a detail the body almost disappears, it just becomes paint. Paint that is showing off and doing tricks and playing games. And so I rumble with it.
I need control and flow and most importantly, substance.
.
The substance that appeals to me is these monsters, the personal monsters, and how confronting them shows us who we are and what it is to be human and to be affected by everything in life that ever made you feel anemic and small.
.
We need art and artists to help us feel and it’s important to remember that it is our job to do so. We need to be careful not to insulate ourselves from feeling because doing so will sterilize our work.